I wake up almost late
It’s going to be a pretty big day. Had a hard time falling asleep, and I don’t really feel very rested. It was pretty hard to let go of the feeling that a lot is riding on getting a good score on Högskoleprovet. My only way in to the university education I want to get to - Psychology - is through this test. So, five tests over the course of almost eight hours. It’s a lot, and I need almost a perfect score.
Even though I thought I left early enough, I have to run to catch the train. I make it, but I’m already pretty shaken. Not a great start. With me for the day I have a book called The Invisible Hook. It’s an academic book about the economic and democratic societies aboard pirate ships! I figured I’d read it during the breaks instead of being a millennial who goes immediately to my phone.
Next to the book is the little bag with the tiny pill with the PS1 logo on it. It’s weird that something that cost so many bitcoins can take up so little space. The website listed many names and nicknames for it, including the extremely long chemical compound that probably makes up what I assume is the main active ingredient. One of them stuck with me though - Ukrainian Thinking Pill. It’s supposed to make you focus in an unparalleled fashion, starting 30 minutes from ingestion and then lasting between 6 to 12 hours. Since that’s probably a bit more than I need, it’s good that there’s also an out - a very cold shower will kick you right out of it.
Let’s do this - test one!
In a stroke of luck, there’s exactly 30 minutes of introductions before the real test begins. So, as we enter the classroom, I pop the pill and sit down and listen. And wait. Sure enough, as we get the envelopes with the questions, I start to notice the effects.
The first test is a verbal one, so lots of reading. I immediately feel that I have somehow unlocked a skill I’ve been trying to attain for a while - speed reading. It’s like my mind is taking a photograph of the entire page and then just absorbing all of it in less than a second. Just to make sure that I’m not making it all up, I also try to read a bit “normally”. I conclude that not only does that feel like the slowest thing that ever happened, I had also really read and understood everything.
Hell yeah!
I’m done with the entire thing in less than a quarter of the allotted time. Just to be safe I go through everything twice over. I made one small mistake, which was easy to correct. When I’m done for the third time, I feel that my stress about the test has all but gone away. This is gonna be great!
Test two!
After a short break, we’re back to the second test. Since the last one was verbal, we know that this one is math. Which is good for me - I’ve always had a knack for the math and been able to solve pretty complex equations with ease, and with my current ability of superhuman focus this will be a walk in the park.
And, of course, it is. But, it’s different. The math kind of feel less like a language and more like a music. I can hear the answers from reading the questions. It’s like they are taking tones, and the answers that are wrong are kind of off-key. Then it hits me - I’m experiencing Synesthesia. My senses are stronger, but they’re also all jumbled. This realization makes me feel warm, and I realize I’m running pretty hot. Nothing weird though, and I’m able to finish all the questions well ahead of time. Only twice rather than the three times I managed in the last test.
Test three!
Just one more test before lunch. Back to verbal tests, so reading and stuff again. I’m still pretty warm, and I feel a drop of sweat fall from my brow and onto the paper. It turns bright blue. Another one falls, and that one turns pink.
Oh no. I’m sweating colors. That can’t be good, can it? I touch my forehead, which is remarkably dry. The hell?
Regardless of this small impediment, I confidently run through all the questions and small puzzles. Once I didn’t think about it anymore, I kinda stopped sweating, so at least that’s good.
Lunch!
By the end of the third test, I feel simultaneously exhausted and super energized. I absolutely devour the wrap I had brought for lunch, and then I decide to read my pirate book. I’m done after like 20 minutes, so I spend the few minutes left on trying to relax. Harder than I would’ve thought, but I manage to shut of the activity in my brain for a bit.
Test four!
More verbal tests, which means that one of them is a trial run for future tests and won’t be counted on our scores. No matter - I’m doing pretty close to perfect on them anyway. I’ve cooled down and there’s no sweat anymore. But, as we sit down and open our test envelopes, I spot something that probably isn’t happening; The woman in front of me has a parrot on her shoulder.
Why in the everliving fuck did I read about pirates when this is going on?
I glance around, and of course every person in the room has a parrot on their shoulder, and they’re all looking back at me. The parrots open their beaks to speak, but the sounds that come out sound more like a choir of 6000 people singing. Awesome, but very much not what I need right now.
It’s… getting pretty distracting, honestly. I focus on my test and try to ignore the avian-human hybrid music. It’s futile, of course. I make it in time, but now I have no time left to do a full pass again.
The last test and going home
Luckily for me, the parrots go away and the final test passes without any further incident. It’s around this time that I think time is beginning to slip for me for a bit. It didn’t feel like 55 minutes at all. I mostly remember at the end, looking at the answers I had filled in. But, I didn’t feel nervous, I felt confident and honestly kind of relaxed.
It was nice that it was over. Now, just to get home and get into the shower before anything else starts feeling supernatural. It… doesn’t. Maybe because I was expecting it to? Or maybe it’s just because it’s starting to wane off?
I get home and before even looking at Li I go like “ahshitineedtoshowerbrb” and run straight into the bathroom. I undress in a few seconds and jump into the shower and turn the heat down as much as I possibly can. The ice cold water not only hurts, but it feels like big shards of ice is cracking on my skin and falling off. I feel the effects fading as my temperature drops, and before it’s all gone for good I feel one last batch of sensory overload; I can hear the shapes of the room. It felt like I was a sonar or something. Super weird and honestly pretty confusing, but at least it didn’t last long.
Once I was out of the shower, all traces of what had happened to me during the day were gone. No more colors or parrots or photographic reading. No idea what the fuck was in that pill, and I’m not sure if I want to know.
Looking forward to my 2.0 score!